


LittleLeafs: Get Your Man in 10 Easy Steps!

by SpellCasterLight



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alcohol, F/M, Swearing, Terrible Dating Advice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:15:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29332170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpellCasterLight/pseuds/SpellCasterLight
Summary: 'LittleLeafs Get your man in 10 easy steps! One night and the man will be yours' Hinata blinked. Did she read that right? One night? She quickly flicked to the right page. [Shikamaru x Hinata]
Relationships: Hyuuga Hinata/Nara Shikamaru
Kudos: 12





	LittleLeafs: Get Your Man in 10 Easy Steps!

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto in any way shape or form. This story is purely for entertainment not profit.
> 
> Author's Notes: Man! These oneshots are getting longer!
> 
> Happy New Year's Eve everyone! Let's end the year with some terrible dating advice xD
> 
> Maybe I'm too old *cries* but the last time I read a teenage girl magazine it had the worst advice I could ever imagine xD This is my play on that!
> 
> Pairing Warning: It also goes without saying but if [Shikamaru x Hinata] isn't your thing turn back now.
> 
> Warnings: Mild Swearing. Alcohol. Terrible Dating Advice.

Hinata slowly ran her hand in a lazy, no thought behind it motion, over the clothes in her wardrobe but not actually making the movement to remove any of them.

"Are you ever going to pick anything?" Her sister called out from Hinata's bed, as she lounged on it, flipping through a magazine.

The elder sister found herself sighing, shoulders slumping.

She could almost hear Hanabi smirk at her back. "Is _Shikamaru_ going to be there?"

Hinata spun on the spot, face red, embarrassment obvious. "Wh-what?! I-don't-I-!"

"Yes you do," Hanabi threw back flicking a page of her magazine. "Every since you two have been playing house with Mirai you've been head over heels. You're acting the same like when you fancied Naruto."

After the war Naruto had outright asked Sakura to be his girlfriend and, surprising everyone, the pinkette had agreed. Hinata could admit to herself that she took it hard but two and a half years later she could also admit she was happy for them.

She picked out a fleece from the options of clothes as something to do, instead of just standing there blushing.

Her crush on Shikamaru had seemed to come out of nowhere. One day she was babysitting with him, and she watched him pick up Mirai when the little girl started crying, he smiled at their godchild with such a pure, caring, smile that Hinata had had to run from the room, and hide in a corner with a hand over her rapidly beating heart.

That had been a little under a year ago, and it had only got worse.

Daydreaming about a future relationship between the two of them; wanting to be around him all the time; outright jumping at the chance to babysit with him; when she was called for a mission she silently hoped he would be their team lead; blushing and poking her fingers together whenever one of their friends mentioned him.

Hanabi was at her side then.

"Try not to worry about it Hinata," her sister rubbed her hand up and down her back. "Hopefully he'll realise how much you care about him soon," the younger Hyuga then left the room.

Her sister's wording choice made Hinata outright drop the fleece in her hands.

She was doing it again; the realisation was like a slap, she was _doing it again,_ she was waiting around for the guy to notice her, only for her to waste potentially years of her life while he walked slowly into the arms of another girl. Ino had even confessed to the rest of the girls over tea that apparently Temari had been asking her about the Nara's dating life in recent weeks.

Hinata practically threw herself, face down, on her bed, barely managing to hold back a sob.

What was she going to do? She couldn't go through the same steps with the Nara that she had the Uzumaki, she just _couldn't_. Her heart wouldn't be able to take it.

The sound of paper crinkling when she moved caught her attention.

She lifted her head to see it was Hanabi's abandoned magazine that had made the sound, she sighed sitting up, and closing the magazine with the intent of putting it in the bin under her desk when a headline caught her eye.

_'LittleLeafs Get your man in 10 easy steps! One night and the man will be yours!'_

Hinata blinked. Did she read that right? One night? Another longer look at the cover confirmed, yeap, that's what it said. She quickly flicked to the right page.

There it was, ten laid out steps, so short and precise it didn't even take up the full page. She quickly read the first step.

_'Number 1 of LittleLeafs get your man guide: Wow him with looking amazing! Never be afraid to show a little skin (or a lot!)'_

The night out tonight, for Ino's birthday, one of the rare times when all members of Team Kakashi, Team Ten, Team Eight and Team Gai would be in the Village at the same time. It was now or never. She only had a few hours to get ready. Running to her wardrobe she immediately started pulling out all her civilian clothes. Looking at the pile of clothes the heiress frowned. All these would cover her fully; she would happily wear any of them. They wouldn't do; glancing at the clock she had time. She had to go shopping!

* * *

"Hinata are you ready to- _what_ on _earth_ are you wearing?!"

She wasn't surprised by her cousin's outburst; face crimson she pulled the hem of her dress down again.

"Are you re-ready to g-go?"

Neji looked like he was about to blow a gasket.

"You are _not_ going wearing that!"

_'Number 2 of LittleLeafs get your man guide: Don't be deterred by anyone! If you want your man you go get him!'_

The heiress stuck her chin in the air like she had seen Ino and Sakura do when they were annoyed.

"I'll-I'll wear what I wa-want Neji! You-you're not the b-boss of me!" She wished she hadn't stuttered; it didn't really hold the same power when she was falling over her words.

His eyebrows furrowed together in confusion and shock she couldn't blame him she had never spoken to him or anyone like that before.

She lowered her head then before swallowing deeply, don't be deterred by anyone the magazine said, that included her own nerves. "L-let's go."

The dress she picked out was far too short, a black dress that the sales assistant had insisted she buy, and she unconsciously pulled the hem down every few steps which seemed like an eternity because she couldn't walk in the heels she had bought, again at the shop assistants suggestion. How did anyone walk in these at anything more than a snail's pace and not break their ankle? She was having uncomfortable flashbacks to walking on water training.

A small group of their friends were outside the bar when her and Neji arrived. Including Shikamaru.

When Ino saw them coming her jaw dropped before she jumped on the spot, looking thrilled.

"Holy crap Hinata! You look _banging_!"

The Nara turned then and she saw his eyes go wide as he openly looked her up and down.

"Don't encourage her," Neji huffed when they came to stand with their companions. "I don't approve."

_'Number 3 of LittleLeafs get your man guide: When you first see your man make sure to throw him a sexy smile, make an excuse to give him a casual touch and throw a compliment his way '_

Remembering the next step she quickly threw Shikamaru a, what she _hoped_ was attractive smile, before standing beside him and placing her hand on his arm.

"I-I like your shi-shirt Shika."

She ran her hand down, having to swallow deeply to force her hand not to shake, his arm before grabbing his hand, making his eyes shoot up to meet hers.

Hinata bit her lip and made herself smile again.

"You look-" he ran his eyes over her entire form making her heart speed up so much she wouldn't be surprised if he could hear it. When his amber eyes met her white ones again she felt her breath hitch at the hazy look in them. "-Amazing."

Well at least step one seemed to have worked!

_'Number 4 of LittleLeafs get your man guide: Make sure your first conversation is with him while slipping in a very heavy flirty pick up line. Get him thinking!'_

She steeled her nerves silently before stepping into his personal space, so she could whisper in his ear, and she saw him look stunned at her being so daring.

Hinata actually let her lips graze his ear before speaking; that was something people did when they were trying to seduce someone right? That was considered sexy wasn't it?

"It;" she actually had to stop mid sentence to lick her lips; she was so riddled with nerves. "It would lo-look better on my be-bedroom fl-floor."

The heiress heard the Nara take a sharp inhale at that.

_'Number 5 of LittleLeafs get your man guide: Immediately after Step 4 girls. Ignore him. Immediately grab on to your girls and leave him in the dust! It'll send a shock through his system and have him begging for your attention again!'_

"I-Ino;" Hinata immediately stood up straight and spun to the blonde. "Let-let's get sh-shots."

The Yamanaka looked ecstatic before grabbing her hand and dragging her into the bar.

"I like this new you Hinata!"

The Hyuga forced herself to breath, from how forward she had just been and what she was about to do. She knew what the next step was she was going to need alcohol in her system if she was going to pull this off without fainting.

_'Number 6 of LittleLeafs get your man guide: Find another guy to flirt with, anyone will do, and make sure to make eye contact with your intended man while you do it.'_

"Uhh Hinata you wanna slow down there?" Kiba asked her even when he actually took the shot glass out of her hand, her four previous empty ones sitting on the bar as evidence for how many she had just taken.

The Hyuga heard the Yamanaka scoff at the Inuzuka from beside her. "Don't be a spoil sport Kiba!"

Hinata's eyes sought out Shikamaru on their own accord and she found him staring at her with an unreadable expression from the table their friends had procured across the bar.

She wished she could have had another ten minutes alone with Ino, she could have asked for flirting tips, she didn't know how to flirt! What would Ino or Sakura say if they were her?

Hinata placed her hand on Kiba's arm then and tilted her head like she had seen Sakura do a few times to Naruto when she wanted something.

"You wo-worried about me Ki-Kiba? You're s-so sw-sweet."

Kiba looked more confused than charmed at that; she was terrible at this.

"Well yea of course," he gave her a friendly grin. "I can't let any of these guys think they can take advantage of you after all! You're like my sister."

Sister? She was worse at the flirting thing that she thought, but she had to work with what she had.

She slapped her hand against the side of his arm with a smile like she had seen Ino do to Sai, before her eyes sought out the Nara again to find, yes he was still watching her. When she looked back at Kiba he only looked more perplexed by her behaviour.

"Come da-dance with me th-then," she let a genuine smile come onto her face this time. "I wo-would rather da-dance than take any mo-more shots," that was the truth at least, whatever Ino had ordered had tasted awful.

Her teammate laughed then and she let out a relieved breath.

"Alright! You're on!"

_'Number 7 of LittleLeafs get your man guide: Get hot and heavy on the dance floor with your temporary boy; give your man something to get angry over, make him want to tear you away from them!'_

Hinata wished she could have taken more shots, no matter how disgusting they tasted, because even four shots in she still felt her face burn in embarrassment.

She didn't know how to dance to seduce a man; she didn't even know how to dance full stop. So she ended up copying some of the moves of the far-too-drunk women around her and she even tried to re-enact a few moves from movies she remembered that when she watched at the time had made her nearly faint.

The heiress gripped the Inuzuka's shoulders and dropped down then to raise herself up slowly, rubbing herself on him on the way back up; it seemed he'd had enough of her strange actions at that.

Kiba actually put his arms up then and tried to leave her and the dancefloor entirely; in a blind panic she grabbed his jacket and just outright crushed her to him.

Her teammate looked down then with a dumbfounded, questioning look; it made her skin crawl. He had never looked so, almost, _disappointed_ in her.

"Hinata you _never_ act like this, what is-?"

Her wrist was suddenly gripped and pulled, making her fall into the body behind her; which happened to be a very angry looking Shikamaru. He didn't give her a chance to say anything before he pulled again and she had no choice but to stumble after him as they headed out the bars entrance door.

The Hyuga took a gulp of fresh night air when they were out of the bar and she nearly lost her balance again as the Nara outright threw her arm down.

When he turned to her she flinched at his both appalled and outraged expression.

The shadow user pointed into the bar. "What the hell was that?"

Hinata felt her hands shake; she had never heard him talk like that before. "Wha-What was wha-?"

"Don't even pretend you don't know what I'm talking about," he practically spit. "People were calling you all sorts of things. I had to get you out of there before your entire reputation was shot."

Her immediate reaction was split between run away in shame at what people were thinking about her and ask what exactly they said; but she saw an opportunity to easily slide into the next step and took that instead.

_'Number 8 of LittleLeafs get your man guide: After he has intervened make an indication that he doesn't care about you. This will have him fighting to prove you wrong!'_

"Wh-Why do you ca-care? You-" Kami she knew what she had to do but even thinking the words, let alone saying them, made her feel slimy. "You d-don't care about me at a-all Shika. You d-don't give a d-damn what happens to m-me. Why are you pre-pretending you do?"

Shikamaru looked like she'd just slapped him.

"You don't mean that Hinata. Why-" He actually looked like he was starting to panic at that. "Why would you say that?"

_'Number 9 of LittleLeafs get your man guide: Nothing gets the blood pumping and makes emotions raw like a good argument! Trust us! You've nearly got him!'_

"Be-Because it's tr-true. You do-don't even tr-trust with Mirai-"

The Nara looked like she slapped him again.

"When have I _ever_ said that?" He actually stopped to stare at her for a few moments, like he expected an answer. "I trust you. Apart from Kurenai you are the _only_ person I trust with our Goddaughter."

"You d-don't believe I can lo-look after myself on mi-missions."

"Again; when have I ever said that? Every scouting or intelligence mission I nearly-" he paused, seeming to steal his nerves, looking like he was swallowing down what he was about to say. "-I nearly _beg_ the Hokage to put you on my team."

She didn't know that; her heart swelled in appreciation but she forced herself to stay on track.

"You d-don't even-" she had to stop and make the effort to breath. "You don't even like me."

"Don't _like_ you?" Shikamaru, for the first time in his life, seemed to have no words. " _Hinata_ ;" he was over and grabbing her shoulders in a fierce grip instantly. "How could you say that?! I think you are loyal, and caring and brilliant and-"

_'Number 10 of LittleLeafs get your man guide: Now's the chance girl! Pluck up your courage and kiss your man!'_

She grabbed his collar and brought him down to her height and pressed her lips against his firmly.

It was...nothing like what she imagined. She didn't feel him smile against her, he didn't immediately wrap her up in his arms to keep her against her, her insides didn't warm from happiness. All she continued to feel was the slimy sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.

He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back, away from him, in one movement. She had never seen him look so angry and hurt.

"What the _hell_ are you doing?"

She flailed for a second to find words when he started yelling again.

"You just stood there screaming at me that I don't care about and then you kiss me?! What is _wrong_ with you tonight? You've been acting so weird."

Tears started to form at the corners of her eyes at how angry he was, she couldn't even answer him.

"You know what?" The shadow wielder actually threw his hands up in a surrender motion but his lips pulled into a sneer. "This is such a drag, I'm out of here. Do whatever you want," she took a step after his retreating form and he must have heard her because he shouted again without turning around. "Do not follow me Hinata!"

Suddenly she was alone and the _silence_ that was around her seemed to enter her and make her cold. Her hands couldn't stop shaking and she released a silent sob; what had that achieved? The boy she cared deeply about had just stormed off, angrier than she had ever seen. What was she supposed to do now?

The Hyuga pulled off her high heels, nearly falling flat on her face in the process, and ran full speed home.

She managed to make it home and into her room without running into anyone, the tiny miracle that that was. Hinata, as soon as she had closed the door to her bedroom flung herself onto her bed, like she had done earlier that day, and started to cry in earnest; and just like earlier paper crinkling caught her attention and she grabbed the magazine.

She read the last paragraph of the 10 step guide through her tears.

_'By the end of the night he will be wrapped around your little finger and you will be in heaven! Your welcome ladies! Enjoy your new relationship!'_

"Be in he-heaven," she quoted before throwing it to the floor with a sob. "Is that why he ye-yelled at m-me and left m-me all alo-alone?"

She crawled under the covers her head and feet starting to hurt, her stomach beginning to churn and tears fell openly from her eyes.

Well this crush certainly didn't turn out like Naruto. She wasn't going to need to wait for Shikamaru and Temari to get together she had practically shoved him at her and told them to kiss.

She sobbed into her pillow. She was _such_ an _idiot_.

* * *

The sunlight hurt her eyes even before she opened them forcing her to groan.

"You finally awake then?" Hinata snapped into a sitting position and immediately regretted it as she clutched her uneasy stomach.

"Drink this," she took the offered glass in front of her and drank half of the opaque pink drink. Feeling her headache and stomach pain recede immediately she drank the other half.

The heiress didn't even want to look at the owner of the voice. He was the last person she wanted to see.

"Why-why are you here Shi-Shika?" She gathered her courage to look at him.

He was sitting on her desk chair that he had carried over to her bedside at some point. He looked annoyed, his back rigid instead of the usual slump and his eyes sharper than a kunai blade. He took her empty glass and put it on her desk before replying.

"I came to see if you were alright," the Nara said but his caring words still contained the bite of his annoyance.

After a few moments of some of the worst uncomfortable silence she had ever been a part of she asked. "How lo-long was I asleep for? If-if you came over to se-see if I was o-okay?"

"It's still fairly early. I was only here a few minutes before you woke up but that's alright becauseeee-" he leaned down and sat up again with her magazine in his hand and a raised eyebrow "-I had something very _enlightening_ to read while I waited."

A quick looked confirmed it was open on the 'Ten Step' page. Did it remain open on that page when she threw it to the floor? Or did he find it on his own? Either way, this could only be bad.

"Oh n-no," she groaned wishing the ground would swallow her.

He made a small 'hmm' noise in the back of his throat before turning the magazine around so he could read the same page he had just showed her.

"Step one explains your outfit choice from last night. Step two I didn't see but I am assuming that might have had something to do with Neji's bad mood when you arrived? Probably told you to change maybe? And you said-?" He gave her a look that said she should answer that one.

She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them looking miserable. "I told him he was-wasn't the b-boss of me and that I could wear-wear what I wa-want."

The shadow nin scoffed. "Bet he _loved_ that," Shikamaru fiddled with the bottom of the page. "Step three explains the hand grab," she blushed at that one and shoved her head into the comforter on top of her knees. Was he really going to go through every step?

"Step four is the reason for that line about your bedroom and my shirt."

Hinata wanted to whine and hide under her covers. Did he really come all this way to pick a fight and embarrass the heck out of her?

"Step five explains immediately ditching me," the heiress winced at that one. "Steps six and seven explain practically dry humping Kiba," the Nara gave her a stern look over the top of the page. "You owe him an explanation he was really confused when I talked to him when I went back."

"Ye-yes," she agreed in a small voice.

Great more awkward conversation to have today.

"Step eight-" he continued. "Ignoring the fact that, yes, I did intervene for a moment. I didn't appreciate that jab you gave me about not giving a damn about you," Shikamaru held up the magazine. "The fact that it was because of some _stupid_ article; I don't know if that annoys me more or not."

The Hyuga tried to gulp the guilty feeling in her throat away.

"Step nine-" he seemed to take a very deep breathe to calm himself which made Hinata's nerves ring with unease. "Starting an argument has _never_ been your thing. You aren't Ino or Sakura. _That_ is when I knew something was really wrong."

"Step 10-"

His voice seemed to take on another level she couldn't pick apart so she turned her head to see him. He seemed to be thinking long and hard on what words to use. She nearly jumped out of her skin when he left the chair to sit beside her on her bed facing her, nowhere to hide now.

"Did you really just kiss me because some dumb magazine told you to?"

His tone was practically _begging_ her to say no.

"I-I've wanted to kiss you for mon-months," she couldn't fight her blush nor could she meet his gaze so she stared at her knees instead. "But not-not like that, when you w-were angry and d-didn't even want to t-talk to m-me."

Tears were at the corners of her eyes again and she swiped at them angrily. The fact that her own stupidity had got her into this mess just made her more upset.

She felt a hold on her chin and her head was forced up to meet his eyes and, to her astonishment, he had a small smirk; which was as close to a smile Shikamaru ever seemed to come to.

His hand moved from her chin, to tuck some strands of her hair behind her ear and down to her cheek.

"How about we try that step again then? It didn't really go to plan the first time."

She laughed lightly before their lips met.

 _This_ was the kiss she wanted. Filled with warmth and smiles and relief. His arms were around her waist and her arms were trapped against his chest so her hands found themselves on his cheeks.

When they broke away several minutes later, panting lightly and cheeks flushed she threw her arms around his shoulders in a hug. "I am s-so so-sorry Shika; I was _su-such_ an _idiot_."

"It's alright," he rested his head on top of hers. "Staying mad at you would be far too much of a drag anyway"

She chuckled lightly at that.

"Wa-Wait a mi-minute."

She pulled back enough to still rest her hands on his shoulders, his hands sitting lightly on her waist.

"Wh-Why _did_ you bre-break me and Ki-Kiba apart?"

He raised a disbelieving eyebrow. "Are you kidding? Watching you like that with dog boy made me want to punch him I was so jealous and you can drop that smug smile," he poked her in the side making her giggle.

"Look-" she met his eyes again. "-You don't need to do anything apart from be yourself to have me care about you ok?"

Her smile was slow to spread across her face. "O-okay."

"And if you could _not_ flirt with dog boy that would be great."

She laughed at that one.

"And if you wear another outfit like that one from last night I might have to actually start hitting people who gawk at you and that would be such a drag."

"I d-don't want to we-wear _anything_ that re-revealing again," her face was beetroot at the memory of the nonexistent dress from the previous night.

"Well I don't know," it was the first time she had seen him grin. "When we're alone you could-"

She pushed him so he fell backwards, his laughter only getting louder.

The heiress was about to whine about being teased when he pulled her down to meet him and he captured her lips in another kiss.


End file.
